I have avoided posting about my daily adventures the last two weeks because I've really wanted to focus on the issue of women realizing their value. I have chosen to relate the happenings of the last two weeks with the desire to demonstrate how much God values His children.
Thursday, February 7th--Robert goes to bed with a headache. Robert wakes us up coughing and wheezing. I spend the next four nights monitoring his breathing at night and taking proper steps to avoid respiratory distress.
Monday, February 11th--Robert is better. Anna is now sick. Thankfully, her respiratory track isn't as sensitive, but she is still miserable. Sleep continues to elude me.
Thursday, February 14th--The children are better, and we adopt a Beagle/Dachshund mix. Milly loves the children but hates our dog. Lovely.
--My stepdad goes in for tests and is rushed to the hospital with congestive heart failure.
Friday, February 15th--I am now sick. Milly is still hating Fred, and my stepdad is being scheduled for tests because they believe he might have cancer.
Saturday, February 16th--The heater quits. The sunroom roof leaks with the rain, and our printer dies. Plus, Milly still hates Fred, and Wylie is looking at heart surgery.
Sunday, February 17th--I have to call Milly's foster mom because Fred and Milly have engaged in open fighting. Fred is 60 pounds; Milly is 25. This won't work. We discuss training options, and we agree to try for a few more days, but we realize Milly may not be able to live with us.
--Someone comes to our door and asks if we are interested in selling our popup camper, which we had planned to sell so we could buy an RV. I think this is of God. Rob thinks it is bad timing, but he gets her phone number so we can call in three or four weeks.
Monday, February 18th--Wylie (stepdad) is scheduled for surgery on Tuesday and Wednesday because they feel his heart will not sustain all three stints at once. His kidneys are showing signs of distress.
--I have not slept due to the pain I am in from this illness.
--HOWEVER, Milly and Fred spend the day outside, and when the day is over, they are best friends. Thank you, Lord.
Tuesday, February 19th--I am about to walk out the door when the phone rings. They can't do surgery because Wylie's kidneys are too fragile. They have to call in a specialist.
--I spend the day in bed because I'm so sick.
--The heater person finally comes. He determines we need a new heater. It's price tage? $5800.
--The bank tells us our loans for the remodel (which will get rid of the present roof) are on hold. The loan we are applying for is not possible due to technicalities, but they are willing to let us consider other avenues.
Wednesday, February 20th--I find myself in the doctor's office because my ear is infected. During our conversation, I mention chest pains I had a few weeks ago, and my doctor shares the symptoms of a heart attack in women. Bummer. They are the same. I have an EKG, and they try to do blood work, but I am dehydrated and have to have fluids before they can find blood. I am sent home to drink water and return later.
--No news on my stepdad yet.
--Rob has bought another printer, but has not had time to set it up, so my critiques for my writing group are still sitting on my computer.
--I go back to get my blood work, which works with only 5 total pokes.
--I return home to find the "second opinion" heater man leaving. I ask what the conclusion is. The heater is working. In fact, it started working immediately after being turned on. The technician had cycled through 10 times, and the heater worked each time. "Why replace a heater that works?"
--8:00 that night my mom calls. My stepdad is having surgery the next morning. It is of greater danger to wait. I make a kazillion phone calls and try to sleep, but a reaction to my decongestant keeps me awake for most of the night.
Thursday, February 21st--I am at the hospital at 6:45 am. Wylie is not being prepped.
At 7:30 we are told Wylie has been placed on the "work in" schedule. We do not know why.
At 10:30 we find out Wylie's doctor has the flu, but he has asked his partner to do the surgery. Because we are now working with the partner's schedule and the hospital's schedule, we do not know when Wylie will go in.
At noon, they wheel Wylie back.
At 2:00 we are notified surgery is done. All three stints were placed securely. There were no complications. He will be monitored on Friday as they flush the dye from his kidneys and keep an eye on them. If everything goes according to expectations, Wylie will be home Saturday.
I get home late. My ear is throbbing, and I am exhausted.
Friday, February 22nd--I am up early and try to have quiet time, but all I can think about is my stress test. I am not afraid of heart issues. I am, however, afraid of the test. My mind is filled with memories of the last stress test, being yelled at by the doctor, and being griped at by the nurse because my legs cramped and I was unable to reach their desired heart rate. I fight anxiety attacks.
--10:00 I am at the doctor's office.
--11:00 I walk out of the doctor's office and head home to work on my book chapter so I can turn it in for critique by my group.
That gives you the list of events of the week. What it does not include are the random emails people sent asking about my stepdad, asking how I am feeling, telling me prayers are being prayed. I cannot list the emails/phone calls that simply came in the form of, "Jerri, I appreciate you." I most certainly cannot convey their impact. There were comments made by peopel who had no idea what all was going on. In fact, only three people knew my doctor has concerns about the possibility that I've had a heart attack (BTW, test results should be in by Wednesday). Yet, people I do not even mentally hold as close friends randomly emailed or dropped a note to let me know I bless them in some way. I've received beautiful verses and scriptures, words that are precisely what the Lord has put in my heart. No one could have known about those. Instead, they simply responded to the promptings of the Spirit. I don't know if they realized the Lord was speaking to them or not. I only know they obeyed, and with each word, I was given peace.
In all of the last two weeks, I will tell you honestly that I have been exhausted. I am still very tired. However, emotionally and mentally, I have not felt fear. I have not felt panic. I only had one moment that really made me a bit lop-sided, for lack of a better word. I think part of that is having walked this road with my biological dad. I think part of it was choosing to focus on God's faithfulness. I KNOW a huge part of the ease with which our family walked through this was the prayer, the words, and the actions of the people God used to encourage and support us.
In my last post, I talked about the power our words have to heal. I share with you the events of the last two weeks because I want to convey the powerful use of words in my life and the lives of my family. The words spoken to us and the words prayed over us protected us and kept our hearts safe.
For those who used your words to heal and protect us, our deepest gratitude is yours. May the spoils of our victories be poured upon you and your families, and may your faith be increased to speak even more boldly so that the power of God is released in even greater ways.
God bless you.
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UNDAUNTED
For a few very hard years this word was my mantra.
The word means
-undismayed; not discouraged; not forced to abandon purpose or effort
-undiminished in courage or valor; not giving way to fear
But the truth is, I was often dismayed by everything that had taken place, and I did battle discouragement. I battled fear and doubts. I hurt and was angry, and sometimes "undaunted" sounded more like a mockery than a mantra, and I was determined to be real about all of it in these posts, thus the name, Undaunted Reality. More than that, though, I was determined to live undaunted, not because I'm so great or strong, but because my God is, and no matter what this world looks like, He is the only reality that matters.
I pray I live the reality of Him beautifully undaunted.
For a few very hard years this word was my mantra.
The word means
-undismayed; not discouraged; not forced to abandon purpose or effort
-undiminished in courage or valor; not giving way to fear
But the truth is, I was often dismayed by everything that had taken place, and I did battle discouragement. I battled fear and doubts. I hurt and was angry, and sometimes "undaunted" sounded more like a mockery than a mantra, and I was determined to be real about all of it in these posts, thus the name, Undaunted Reality. More than that, though, I was determined to live undaunted, not because I'm so great or strong, but because my God is, and no matter what this world looks like, He is the only reality that matters.
I pray I live the reality of Him beautifully undaunted.
Wow Jerri, you sure have had a lot going on and yet you made the time to minister to Mark and Laura and even to me and probably to many others as they read your prayers and comments! Thank YOU so very much for serving even when your world was out of your control.
ReplyDeletePraying God's best for you!
Robin,
ReplyDeleteI have found the only thing I have any control over is my willingness to be God's vessel. Sometimes I like to have the dilusion that I have more power than that, but in truth, all I can control is how much I choose to obey the Holy Spirit's leading.
And, I have found also found that Jesus was right: my meat is to do my Father's will. I have found it repeatedly true that when I feel like I am drowning if I will invest in someone else, my spirit becomes more settled and I am able to walk through my issues with more clarity. Sometimes I have to look away from my issue to get a better view of it.
You know how you can look at something and see one thing, and then turn away and look back and see something else? You've seen those pictures? Well, when I stop trying to make the picture I see make sense or do what I want it to do and I allow the Spirit to speak in any way He wants, it allows me to hear His voice that is actually speaking differently about my own personal picture.
Does that make sense?
And sometimes, the enemy likes to tell me I don't hear right or I don't hear anything at all, and when I allow the Holy Spirit to lead me to pray or prophesy, it is God's affirmation that I do hear. I just need to trust what I am hearing or be open to hearing something I didn't expect.
And besides all that, frankly, ministering to others is just fun. I don't have another word for it. It's just fun, and it is thrilling to see God invade a situation where the enemy is trying to take hold or keep a hold. It is just beyond words when God says, "I've had enough. That's mine," and He comes in and takes over. I love it, and I love to be part of it.
Thank you for your kind words. You have blessed me incredibly, and I am deeply grateful.
Wow Jerri,
ReplyDeleteAmen!
Amen!
Amen!
Yes! Most Definitely!
Amen!
Amen!
Can I say Wow Jerri again?
Your heart is so beautiful! I love how you give God control and let HIM work through you no matter what!
I wish you were my neighbor - we'd be great friends. But God must need you where you are. What a pleasure it is to get to know you via the internet, and I'll be looking for you in heaven!
Robin,
ReplyDeleteThat is one of the greatest compliments (about being neighbors) I have ever received. Thank you so very much!
I hope we get to meet before Heaven, though!