Time passes.
Another day of wondering what to say...and not really knowing.
How do I convey the journey I am on without sanding morose or harming the innocent or revealing too much about the not so innocent...of which, I am one. I don't know, so I say nothing...and time passes.
Then, something wondrous happens--a breakthrough, a new perspective, a light dawns. I want to tell you, but it occurs to me that it will be meaningless for you because you do not know the battle fought to win even a small victory.
Spoils mean nothing when they appear to be nothing more than items found on the road.
However, when they are hard fought, they are trophies--articles for the mantel, stories to be told, things to be bragged over.
They are the things calling forth rejoicing...over and over again...as time passes.
A phone call from a prodigal child...
Flowers from a husband with heart turned home after an absence...
A dinner filled with laughter with family once estranged...
A lick on the fingers by a pet safely returned home...
Assurance that God in Heaven is above all things, loves deeply, is ever forgiving, and desires to be gracious...
Such things made precious by the battle to win them. They are not everyday items to be acknowledged with a polite smile and forgotten. They are treasures, and they cannot be treated as less. Not now. Not as time passes...
For these are the things that keep our hearts steady. These are the times when hope is born and nourished, perserverance shows its fruits, and faith becomes solid. Such times we rail against and hate, and such times we would not trade for the treasures they bestow is worth the heart ache and tears necessary to win them.
These are the times, the gifts, the circumstances gone well, that we record in our minds and hearts. These are the ones we right on our heads and hands. These are the ones we talk about while we sit or walk along the road. These are the very things that strengthen us for the next battle, let us believe in greater spoils, and keep our hand on the sword when the war seems to be going badly. Riches pulled from the storehouse that sustain us through the next seige.
But first we have to store them...in treasure chests of journals, momentos to remind us, the hearts of precious friends. Places to draw them from when we need them.
It is easy to withdraw when the battle comes. Pride does not like to be seen struggling or in need. Explaining what is at stake or expressing the intensity of the fight can be impossible. Other's not understanding can dishearten us. But when victory comes, we want all we know to rejoice with us...even when they don't--can't--really understand.
So it is with others who wish to show their spoils.
So it is with me.
Someday soon I will share about the treasured spoils. They may seem insignificant to you. In fact, to you, they are. However, take a moment to remember your hard fought battle and the glory of your victory. The one that left you shouting joyously while tears of exhaustion and relief ran down your face. Remember that victory, and rejoice with me as though indeed this were the same...because for me, it is.
And when you bring your spoils to share, with stories to tell sharing heartbreak and exultation along the way, I'll listen. I'll be amazed. And I will put them in the storehouse of my heart where I can find them to bring out when you need them next.
That is what friends do...no matter how much time passes by...
Copyright Jerri Phillips 2009
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UNDAUNTED
For a few very hard years this word was my mantra.
The word means
-undismayed; not discouraged; not forced to abandon purpose or effort
-undiminished in courage or valor; not giving way to fear
But the truth is, I was often dismayed by everything that had taken place, and I did battle discouragement. I battled fear and doubts. I hurt and was angry, and sometimes "undaunted" sounded more like a mockery than a mantra, and I was determined to be real about all of it in these posts, thus the name, Undaunted Reality. More than that, though, I was determined to live undaunted, not because I'm so great or strong, but because my God is, and no matter what this world looks like, He is the only reality that matters.
I pray I live the reality of Him beautifully undaunted.
For a few very hard years this word was my mantra.
The word means
-undismayed; not discouraged; not forced to abandon purpose or effort
-undiminished in courage or valor; not giving way to fear
But the truth is, I was often dismayed by everything that had taken place, and I did battle discouragement. I battled fear and doubts. I hurt and was angry, and sometimes "undaunted" sounded more like a mockery than a mantra, and I was determined to be real about all of it in these posts, thus the name, Undaunted Reality. More than that, though, I was determined to live undaunted, not because I'm so great or strong, but because my God is, and no matter what this world looks like, He is the only reality that matters.
I pray I live the reality of Him beautifully undaunted.
Wow! Wow! Wow! That is GOOOOOOD! I like your "spoils," to me that are shiny treasures worth displaying on a mantel! They are worth polishing up and telling everyone about ... like the lost coin! You are a treasure, my precious, precious friend. I love you!
ReplyDeleteDebra, that is EXACTLY what I thought of when that came out. The lost coin...the lost sheep...the one over whom the angels rejoice!!!
ReplyDeleteWhat great victory! What spoils our DADDY displays when He calls us His own!!!
Imagine that! WE ARE THE SPOILS DADDY SHOWS OFF!!!
We are more than conquerers with Jesus Christ. Therefore, to the victor belong the spoils and we are on the side of the victorious. You go, girl!
ReplyDeleteSo true Jerri - so much cannot be said to protect those we love. Yet how wonderful to hear that things are going well and progress is being made. I think you made your point very well.
ReplyDelete