"Jerri," he says in that way that means he hopes I grasp the truth in his words, "we are all looking for someone special. Everyone who is single is looking for someone special. You are not the only one who finds the holidays to be hard because you don't have someone special."
I listen.
His sincerity warms my heart...even though I know he is totally wrong.
The truth is most people are not looking for someone special. They are looking to BE special. Most people are not looking for someone they can value, encourage, or love. Most of us are looking for someone who values us, picks the right Christmas gift, remembers our birthday, knows those special things about us, encourages us when we are down, calls at just the right time, surprises us with a card, and all those great mushy gushy love things that tell us we are worth the effort, we are important, we are noticed and valued in this world.
THAT is what most people want.
Now, some folks do like spoiling others. They like being the caller, the one who picks up that little something, the one who makes the effort, and the one who lets the other person know their life makes a difference.
In my case, I get to be both.
No. I am not dating anyone. There are no whispers of "forever" or even suggestions of dinner Friday night. However, I am deeply loved, and I am blessed with very lovely people.
I have multiple friends who send me emails or texts to whisper heart deep that they believe my life makes a difference, that THEIR life is better because of mine. They remember my birthday, my special numbers, hard days. They notice when my Facebook account disappears or when I am quiet too long...or when they ask how I am and I answer without giving an answer at all...and that tells them all they need to know. They know I have no favorite color but do have favorite cookies...and they have the recipe. They know the priceless gifts that money can't buy. They know how to pack seashells and Birch bark so they don't break, and they are gifted at picking just the right music video to post to my Facebook wall.
These lovely people share their hearts, and I try to hear the pieces, the parts that make them who they are, their favorite colors, cookies, movies, and memories. I send CDs, rum cakes, and state shaped pasta, cards with inside jokes, links to make them laugh, and pictures of whatever that "reminded me of you." And there is the treasure--the thoughts of them, the knowing them, the privilege of being allowed in. Their priceless lives that make such a huge difference to mine, and the lives that are worth the effort, MY effort to convey just how priceless they are.
No wonder everyone wants it. Too bad so few realize how good it feels to give it.
Me? Like I said, I'm blessed enough to get both. And, yes, THAT is VERY special.
:-)
ReplyDeleteHi Jerri - great post, and great perspective!
ReplyDeleteGod bless
Tracy
I think that is what sometimes we forget. Giving for the sake of giving--of ourselves, to others, for others--is a choice we get to make. It shouldn't be a burden, it should be an opportunity to say that we care and are thinking of someone. You're right...we all just want to BE special. And that can start by treating someone else with deep care and kindness...noticing the little things...sharing a smile, a hug, a wink or a wave. Let them know that you see them :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for seeing me, Jerri! Love you bunches and tons!
Jenny and Tracy, thank you! Bless you, sisters!
ReplyDeleteMizzbrizz, "a choice we get to make". Oh....I am liking this....so much of life we are along for the ride, but valuing, encouraging, loving...a choice we get to make...Yes, indeed, sweet sister. Yes, indeed.
Sister, you give so much. I am so blessed by you. Love you HUGE.