Survival 101--Desperately Walking on Water

When people hear our story, almost without exception, the first question is: How did you survive?

That is an excellent question, and my usual answer is, "God is good." I say that because 1. it's true and 2. I truly believe we made it through the trauma only because we had God.

Oh, we might have physically lived, but we would have been the nightmare statistics you read about with the drugs, relationships, shopaholic, depression, self-destruction, etc. And honestly, without God, I could easily see suicide being an issue. A person simply does not come out of that alone. Don't believe me? Look around you. We could have been the worst scenerio. Instead, we are the best scenerio, and the difference is God.

I would love to give you some touchy feely, great-time-with-God story about the sweet fellowship and how I felt so loved and God-ified through the whole thing, but I'm not going to lie to you. God and I were tight, but it wasn't pretty.

There were times God and I were tight because I knew if we weren't, I was going to drown. He was a necessity, not a warm fuzzy.

Some people have a hard time with that reality. After all, He is God, and I'm...not. The proper way to approach God is with reference and worship and humility...or absolute desperation. I have found He responds to both.

When Peter was walking on water and started to sink, he did not pray in a solemn manner, "God of all creation, Father of everything, I humbly beseech thee to look upon thy servant which is sinking and in your mercy and kindness respond to my cry for aid." No. Peter opened his mouth and screamed, "JESUS! HELP!!! I'M SINKING!"

Stop and think about that.

Peter is walking on water because Jesus has asked him to join Him out among the waves. Peter is where Jesus ASKED HIM TO BE.

Peter is where Jesus wills for him to be.

And Peter looks around, and reality slams him.

There are winds and waves, and the average person would already be sucking water or dead by now, but he's...standing on a foundation that isn't a foundation but a death trap that was never made to hold him up...GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY! WHAT WAS JESUS THINKING?!

And he starts to sink.

Now, most folks stop here and shred Peter for not having faith. Really? No faith? If this is a man of no faith, then why is the first thing thing out of his mouth, "Jesus, help me! I'm sinking"?

For a man with no faith, he sure puts a lot of trust in Jesus' compassion to grab him even though his doubt dragged him under.

For a man with no faith, he sure put a lot trust in Jesus' forgiveness in his failure.

For a man with no faith, he sure put a lot of trust in Jesus' faithfulness.

And he wasn't raising his voice in worship or adoration. No. He was raising his voice in desperation to the only hope he had.

And Jesus reached down and grabbed him.

Now, I wasn't there, and the Bible doesn't tell us, but I'm thinking Jesus either teleported to Peter's side, or He was there all the time, which makes me wonder why Peter didn't just reach out and grab Jesus. He was obviously within reach, so why didn't Peter just grab Him?

I'm not Peter. I'm just someone who has started to sink, and there were times I could not think straight enough to reach out beside me. The shock of sinking despite being where God had ordained me to be left me unable to think of how to get a hold of the situation. All I knew to do was cry out to the one who could get a hold of me.

And like Peter, I can hear Him ask, "Why did you doubt?"

Because I'm Jerri.

Because I'm human.

Because the waves were bigger than I had any idea they would be.

Because...I had no idea being where You wanted me to be could hurt so much.

Because for that moment, I forgot my foundation isn't the water I'm walking on but the One who made the water and told me I could walk on it.

 And because I doubted, I became desperate.

But even in my desperation, I knew on whom I can depend.

And despite my forgetfulness, You remain faithful.

And ultimately, I may hate where I am, but I'm thankful You are in it...

Because even in my forgetfulness, I remember...

the only way through the waves and across the water is with You.