From my journal...Maybe it is what I make me that really matters

I've started blogging again. I'm not sure if it is a good thing or a bad thing. Maybe it is neither...and both...as most things in life are. Maybe it is what I make it." Funny. I actually wrote, "Maybe it is what I make me."

Certainly not what I had in mind, but probably far more realistic.

I have prayed for years to be the place where God invades earth. If my writing is really a piece of God in this world, it has to be where heaven invades earth.

That is the simplicity of what I want it to be. In which case MY wanting to be profound, MY wanting to be wise, MY wanting to be a great writer, MY words being memorable has very little--okay, NOTHING at all to do with what I really want. If what I really want is the Lord, if what I really want is people to see Him, I cannot desire to be seen at all. Or, if in my honest human state, I do desire to be seen, I have to give that back to Him, consciously put it in His hands and let go.

This morning as I sat down with my coffee for my usual prayers and journaling time, I thought about my blog. I have had posts for the last three days. I don't want to fall off the planet for another two months, but I can think of nothing to write. I just kept think, "I want to write something profound, something worth their time to read."

Faithful as always, the Lord spoke profound Truth. "All of it flows from time with me."

Of course I know that. Everyone knows that. So I did the mature Christian thing and prayed.

"Lord, I want to be profound."

I swear I heard Him laugh, and He said, "Talk to me."

And in the talking, He struck Truth.

"Maybe it is what I make me."

If I make ME known as profound....
If I make ME wise to the readers....
If I make ME great and MY words memorable...
what am I making Him?