It was earlier this week when I sat in my bedroom floor, back against the wall, tears falling hot. Words stumbled through the tears.
"I don't believe in fairy tales anymore.
I don't believe in Prince Charming.
I don't believe someone is going to come to the rescue.
I'm sorry I ever wanted or believed any of that.
Please help me just want you and let the fantasy go."
And I sat in the dark and sobbed.
There are certain things in my heart I simply don't discuss with anyone but God. This is one.
When my husband died three years ago, my friend Josiah sent my children and me several different songs to love us and encourage us. They were always exactly what we needed to hear, and although I sat and listened and cried, my heart found home in that music. It wrapped me up in a way I could not explain. It was like the arms of God wrapping me up, holding me tight, and whispering, "I've got you. It's going to be okay." And even though I cried hard, it was okay.
Today Josiah sent me a personal message, and again, he spoke in music. There is no way he could have known this music or his words or...the only one who knows my heart that deep is God Himself...
Again, I'm crying. Because again, my heart finds home, and again, my Father wraps me up and whispers, "I've got you. It's going to be okay."
And it is.
I can't embed the video, but you can find it here.
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