For a few very hard years this word was my mantra.
The word means
-undismayed; not discouraged; not forced to abandon purpose or effort
-undiminished in courage or valor; not giving way to fear
But the truth is, I was often dismayed by everything that had taken place, and I did battle discouragement. I battled fear and doubts. I hurt and was angry, and sometimes "undaunted" sounded more like a mockery than a mantra, and I was determined to be real about all of it in these posts, thus the name, Undaunted Reality. More than that, though, I was determined to live undaunted, not because I'm so great or strong, but because my God is, and no matter what this world looks like, He is the only reality that matters.
I pray I live the reality of Him beautifully undaunted.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

The "S" Word

She used the word "selfish".

Her friend called it "stupid".

I said it was "sad".

The police called it "suicide".

Even in the early afternoon sun, the flashing red and blue lit up the parking lot. The helicopter added the punctuation mark screaming something horrible had happened.

"Horrible" hardly touches the reality.

Two lives blasted into eternity.
First hers. Then his.
Two shots.
Dozens of witnesses.
A million questions.

The general explanation--divorce.
The real cause--A person with more pain than he believed could heal. A person with no where to take his anger, his pain, his hopelessness, so they took him.

And families and friends will try to make sense of this incredibly heartbreaking act. An ocean of opinions will flood forth. Facts mixed with fiction, and none will make a difference.

Quietly, some who knew--and did not know--this couple will slip to their knees. Tears will fall. Prayers will be lifted. Grief-stricken hearts and compassionate souls will cry out because they know all that will ever make a difference...all that would have made a difference this time...

...a Savior.

Copyright Jerri Phillips 2009


  1. Jan, I just wanted to cry. I kept thinking, "God, do they have children? What about their friends and family? And the holidays coming up? And...two souls...two real people with real purpose...gone." I woke up several times in the night praying for their friends and family. So, so sad.

  2. oh jerri... this gave me chills... what a beautifully-written post about such a tragic and heart-breaking situation... and yes, the only S-word answer...