For a few very hard years this word was my mantra.
The word means
-undismayed; not discouraged; not forced to abandon purpose or effort
-undiminished in courage or valor; not giving way to fear
But the truth is, I was often dismayed by everything that had taken place, and I did battle discouragement. I battled fear and doubts. I hurt and was angry, and sometimes "undaunted" sounded more like a mockery than a mantra, and I was determined to be real about all of it in these posts, thus the name, Undaunted Reality. More than that, though, I was determined to live undaunted, not because I'm so great or strong, but because my God is, and no matter what this world looks like, He is the only reality that matters.
I pray I live the reality of Him beautifully undaunted.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

The Blessings

BTW, I do not want to be remiss in all the updates on this illness to not include the blessings, and I don't mention this because these people expect me to. I mention it because I think we live in a world that does not teach us how to serve others. I think it teaches us to implode, not explode, and frankly, I think most preachers are so busy covering their financial butts and keeping folks in pews with watered down or pick-and-choose-so-it-feels-good theology that we miss the commission to be like Christ, not to believe He once existed, but to truly be like Him, and I think it is imperative to tell the stories of the folks who show Him so others see and understand and can emulate...or just rejoice with how blessed my family is because trust me, THESE FOLKS BLESSED US, so in that vein I want to tell you about....

My cousin who lives about 2 hours away, I think, who "happened" to be near here Sunday when we were nearly out of staple groceries because I hadn't been able to get to the store. C helped at a garage sale during the day and on last minute notice (seeing my post on FB), offered to drive through here, get groceries, and bring them by. It was late. She was tired, and it added easily an extra hour to her trip home. She could have said nothing, and I would have never known she was anywhere near here, and there is more to the story, which is even more...did I mention she BLESSED us? She did.

MK offered to drive between 3 and 4 hours after work yesterday to pick up the kids and keep them till the weekend and bring them home. When she realized how sick I was, she offered to take the day off work today and simply come stay with me. Who does that? Then today she texted me, "Jer, don't be stupid. I know you think you feel better, but you don't. That is just the drugs making you feel like Superwoman. it's not really you." and to be known so well....BLESSED.

Other cousin. Mom of cousin above. I think she does more volunteer work in a week than I do in a year. REally. This woman knows how to serve, and despite the timing (love rush hour) still offered to drive the 30-40 minutes over here to drive me 10 minutes to urgent care and sit there with us so I wouldn't have to fight the world spinning so I could drive myself. She even told me multiple times she didn't mind, and I know she didn't. She would have done it because she loves the kids and me, and she is just that way. Since I assured her I could drive, she kept text watch, and I checked in until I finally passed out at home with meds in my system, and she was the first to text this morning to check on me. BLESSED.

Janis, city secretary. I called to find out if she knew the closest urgent care clinic because I don't know the roads well yet. Never crossed my mind that they would show up on a google map when I did a search. She spent nearly 10 minutes on the phone with me as she googled, found ones that were truly where they said they were, and relayed information. Then she checked on me this morning. BLESSED.

D who was the interpreter between her medical professional sister and me. I had no voice, so I texted D, and she talked to her sister. In the end, I was doing all the right things...and still losing the battle, but it was comforting to have a professional say, "You sound like you are at the point when you need to call in more help." I appreciate D's sisters help and time, and I deeply appreciate D being available to be used in such an unconventional...but so important at the moment...way. BLESSED.

To each of you above, I didn't mention names because I know you, and that isn't what you are about. May the Lord repay you with the His promise, "I will bless those who bless you". May those blessings be deep and wild in their abundance. With deep gratitude from this deeply blessed heart.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

A Righteous Stop Gap

This morning I responded to a post by my precious friend Iona Hoeppner. I am sharing it here because I feel it was a true word of the Spirit, not just for Iona or me, but for all those who truly desire to be a servant in these times.

Our government is so shameful. When God's wrath is unleashed, and it will be, how far down will it come, and will there be people to stand in the gap where God can righteously stop the destruction and stand on the knowledge His Son's righteousness will be revealed in them and through them? My friend, I pray if we should be on that tier where the wrath falls, may we be found to be a righteous stop gap.

The Real Point: Prayerful Redemption

My thoughts on Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman:

There are families and loved ones involved in this tragedy whose lives have been altered in ways most of us can never fathom and don't want to. We will never understand what it is like to be the innocent victims taken on this nightmare journey none of them would have ever chosen. These people are angry, crushed in  their hearts by what they feel have been injustices perpetrated against their loved one, defensive, and wish they could go back and make it not happen.

Instead of wasting breath babbling about a situation none of us were in, none of us can speak to because all we have is hearsay, we could be praying and pleading for these innocents because without God, without the Holy Spirit, they won't heal. They will forever be stuck in this horrible void of loss. This will become their identity: the parents of a black boy killed by a white racist and the family and friends of a white man wrongly accused by a system that loves the Race Card.

NOTHING LIVING COMES OF SUCH A VOID. The only way life will ever come from this fallen wheat is if the body of Christ prays it in, and really, isn't there enough death? Isn't the tragedy of Trayvon enough death? REDEMPTION IS THIS: that the God who can create something amazing out of absolutely nothing brings life where there is emptiness and/or death.

Dear God, may my heart never be about personal opinion that is so disgustingly flawed but by your heart of redemption which is so perfectly flawless.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

As a Matter of Fact, I am Guarded

I'm struggling today. In fact, I'm really kind of angry, and I'm not shaking it like I normally do. Even with prayer, I'm not shaking it. Actually, every time I pray, I get angrier.

I was told my "guarded" state is preventing relationships, specifically romantic relationships. Here are my thoughts on that:

If I am guarded, maybe you should ask God what you did to cause it and/or how you should fix it.
It is not my job to chase you and convince you I am what you need. I am worth your pursuing me and demonstrating to me you are what I and my children need.
It is not my job to break into your world. If you want to be part of my world, ask.
If you have issues that make me "intimidating", my suggestion is for you to grow...up...and deal with your issues.
If you want to get to know me but find me unapproachable, find a new approach. Other people do it everyday, and they seem pretty okay with me being me.

Here are the simple truths:
I am worth pursuing.
I am worth the effort.
I believe as a daughter of God, I am to seek HIS face and heart first, and He will send the right man to seek me. If you do not have the courage or conviction to seek me, you are not the right man.
I am convinced of these truths and refuse to compromise them.

You call this "guarded". I call this a refusal to settle for less than what my Daddy has for me.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

When my Real Need is God

This morning I had to pray for strength to focus so I could pray. You ever been there?

The movers come tomorrow, and I am looking around thinking I am so not ready, and my mind is running at full tilt trying to figure everything out, and I have no clue how I'm going to make this work. All I know is I love my prayer time first thing in the morning, and if I give that up to deal with moving, moving has become my idol and my limitations created by time, my strength, my mind's efficiency or solutions has become my God where I put my trust, so this morning, I prayed for strength to focus not on my giant or myself as god (notice the very tiny, insignificant little g), and instantly, I heard, "I will meet your every need according to the riches of my glory in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:23) As soon as He began to speak, I felt excitement and anticipation build within me like a deep breath that settles deep. You know what I mean? And I have no clue how He will meet my every need, but I know those needs are met. As my prayer and pondering time was winding down, I looked at my "random" verse for today.

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21 NIV

Think my Daddy is saying, "Baby Girl, I so have this," or what?

 I hope you have that kind of day, too. :-)

The grace that comes from the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Amen.

The Very Breath of Me--Ponderings

The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Amen--Philippians 4:23
The joy, pleasure, and that which creates delight in you being received from and having everything to do with the Lord Jesus Christ be your very breath. (part 1)

In the other vein....

The absolutely free expression of God's loving-kindness to you manifested in the gift of the Lord Jesus Christ be your very breath.

Daddy, I'm pondering this, and I'm trying to let it get deep into my spirit and affect change in my mind and soul, but I need help to overcome all my ideas of what "joy in the Lord" means. I need your pure heart on this. I need your revelation. Open my heart and mind to hear and know. Lord, speak, apply, train me in whatever way is necessary for this to become daily DNA expression in my life. I don't want this to be something I learn. I want it to be something I live.

The Very Breath of Me

For several days now, the Lord has been giving me the same encouragement or "lesson to be applied."

The joy of the Lord is your strength. -- Nehemiah 8:10

This morning the Lord is still on the same topic. Just a different verse.

The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Amen--Philippians 4:23

Grace (charis)--to rejoice. Grace. From its root, this word denotes that which causes joy, pleasure, that which creates delight in the recipient or observer.
     In reference to God we might understand it as the absolutely free expression of His loving-kindness to men, finding its only motive in His bounty and benevolence as the Giver.

Spirit (pneuma)--breath, to breathe

The joy, pleasure, and that which creates delight in you being received from and having everything to do with the Lord Jesus Christ be your very breath. Amen

Friday, July 5, 2013

When Psalm 23 Runs Right Into the Real of My Day

Psalm 23

The Lord is the one who totally has me, I lack nothing.
    He tells me to rest and be restored, to feed my body, heart, and spirit,
he has places for me to be still and listen and simply enjoy His presence,
    he refreshes my inmost being, to the very core.
He guides in the exact places I need to go because He is totally amazing.
Even though I walk
    through the valley of ear infections, lack of sleep, and physical pain,
I refuse to be shaken from my faith that He has it all taken care of,
    because He makes His presence obvious, He’s proven Himself faithful, and I know he never leaves me;
knowing You are the one who fights for me and leads me in the path you’ve cleared allows me to walk in peace and comforts me when I hear the sound of the war around me.
You give me all the good stuff even when the enemy rages against me.
 You anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
You choose me over and over and over. Every second of my life, You choose me, and I am overwhelmed with how good you are to me and the way You cover me and stand on my behalf.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord