For a few very hard years this word was my mantra.
The word means
-undismayed; not discouraged; not forced to abandon purpose or effort
-undiminished in courage or valor; not giving way to fear
But the truth is, I was often dismayed by everything that had taken place, and I did battle discouragement. I battled fear and doubts. I hurt and was angry, and sometimes "undaunted" sounded more like a mockery than a mantra, and I was determined to be real about all of it in these posts, thus the name, Undaunted Reality. More than that, though, I was determined to live undaunted, not because I'm so great or strong, but because my God is, and no matter what this world looks like, He is the only reality that matters.
I pray I live the reality of Him beautifully undaunted.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

The Best Time for Grace

They say he headed up the biggest in-your-face doping scheme to be pulled off in sports.

They say he made a mockery of the sport and a joke of the people who believed in him.

They say he fooled the world for years.

Now he is saying they are right.

According to "sources", Lance Armstrong is going to confess all his sins on TV for the world to see.

I don't know Lance Armstrong. For whatever he did...

I don't know why he made the choices he did. Obviously the person he was then thought it was acceptable. Maybe he felt he needed something he could get no other way. Maybe he believed that is who he needed to he could be something. Maybe...maybe he's as human as I am.

I don't know why he is confessing now. Maybe he is weary. Maybe he has learned...he doesn't need the lies to be truly himself. Maybe he has learned...the best part of him, the world changing part of him...isn't in a frame on the wall. Maybe he is weary of being a fugitive. Pasts can become prisons we can run from but never escape until we put on the prison clothes and call ourselves what we are...debtors of the sinful kind...desperate for freeing grace...right now.

And when I look at Lance Armstrong, I am looking in a mirror, a mirror I stand before far more than I want to confess...putting on prison clothes, calling it what it is...a person from the past desperate for grace right now.

And I confess...

And I can't explain it into goodness...

I can only say this is...what I've done...who I've been...who I am...asking for a chance to be better...another chance to be get it be me the right way...the be the me I wish I had been...

And I should have been here before...should have fallen on knees before...should have confessed before...should have been someone not her before...

But I am now, and now is all I have to offer.

...and now I am here I am fallen I am confessing I am needing

...and there is no better time than now...

...for Grace.

1 comment:

  1. Amen! Sometimes we find it so hard to forgive ourselves. To let go of who we were or what we did that we build the bars and slap on the chains of our imprisonment. We ALLOW ourselves to be there. To punish ourselves for our transgressions. To live beat down thinking that will be payment for what we've done. We forget--or some do not yet know--that Jesus' blood washes it all away when we take it to the cross in confession and repentance for our fall, our sin.