For a few very hard years this word was my mantra.
The word means
-undismayed; not discouraged; not forced to abandon purpose or effort
-undiminished in courage or valor; not giving way to fear
But the truth is, I was often dismayed by everything that had taken place, and I did battle discouragement. I battled fear and doubts. I hurt and was angry, and sometimes "undaunted" sounded more like a mockery than a mantra, and I was determined to be real about all of it in these posts, thus the name, Undaunted Reality. More than that, though, I was determined to live undaunted, not because I'm so great or strong, but because my God is, and no matter what this world looks like, He is the only reality that matters.
I pray I live the reality of Him beautifully undaunted.

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

2014. I'm ready for you.

2013 kicked my butt royally. When I look back, I just think, "God, that was a hard year." And it was. It was also a year of transition. WonderGirl decided she was done with Teenpact. We moved. Relationships changed radically. Archery, firearms training, and kayaking were all lost in the changes. My beautiful truck that I enjoyed so much was totaled. IT WAS HARD.

But we got the sunrise. Every morning. Just over there.

Every time I would sit in front of the Lord and wonder what in the world he was doing and why in the world he would put us here, I would make myself watch the sunrise. Where we lived before here, we never saw the sunrise. It was too full of trees and houses and highline poles. Here, I sit, drink my coffee, rock on my patio, and watch the sky explode into a sunrise. MY LANDS. I always see it as His personal gift to me. Something we share, like the whisperings between lovers...spoken as loud as the sky.

I wish I had some fabulous metaphor about the sunrise and 2014, but the truth is I realize 2014 may be another hard year. I have things I hope to accomplish and hope to receive. I have things I would like to see happen and ways I want life to change, and I know good things will come.

But I also realize I may spend a lot of it on my knees like I did this one. I realize what I am hoping for may not happen in those 365 days. I realize changes are inevitable, and some are going to be hard.
I also realize God is good, and whatever comes there will be something He gives me that I can hold onto. Something is going to break the darkness and shine, and when I'm in tears and broken, I will stop and make myself look at that and realize I am not forgotten. I am not abandoned. I am loved. He has a purpose. He is whispering. We are still lovers, and His heart is still for me. Big as the sky.

2014, I'm ready for you.

No comments:

Post a Comment