For a few very hard years this word was my mantra.
The word means
-undismayed; not discouraged; not forced to abandon purpose or effort
-undiminished in courage or valor; not giving way to fear
But the truth is, I was often dismayed by everything that had taken place, and I did battle discouragement. I battled fear and doubts. I hurt and was angry, and sometimes "undaunted" sounded more like a mockery than a mantra, and I was determined to be real about all of it in these posts, thus the name, Undaunted Reality. More than that, though, I was determined to live undaunted, not because I'm so great or strong, but because my God is, and no matter what this world looks like, He is the only reality that matters.
I pray I live the reality of Him beautifully undaunted.

Saturday, May 16, 2015

For Now

Even before I knew how to write, I wanted to be a writer. My direction changed over the years, but the desire to write was always there.

Five years ago a lot happened, and I hit everything that came with the determination that it wouldn't define me or my children. I set my face like flint and committed to getting us safely to the other side where peace was the primary component of our world, not pain. I wanted us to be known for the hope we live, not the hell we encountered. Without a doubt, we've reached the other side. The kids are amazing, and unless you know our story, you would never suspect. It is truly a testament to God's faithfulness.

As for me, the last five years have taken a toll, and things that I always considered a key part of me were lost. I kept thinking they would show back up in time, that it was just the shock of things, but they haven't.

Writing is one of those things.

It's like I've lost my voice. I feel like I don't have anything to say, and when there is something that sparks something in me, I can't figure out how to say it. I kept thinking it was just all the energy of trying to get through everything and eventually I'd find the rhythm again.

I kept thinking I'd find that part of me again, but honestly, I'm wondering if she is simply gone.

Part of me wants to keep fighting to find that because being a writer and my faith are the only parts of me that has survived the whole horrific onslaught, and the other part of me...the very exhausted heart of tired of the fight.

So for now....

God be with you. May He make His face shine upon. May His presence be rich and peaceful to your soul, and may your life be filled with Him and the joy of being His.

With deepest gratitude,


  1. It doesn't have to be all or nothing, you know. You can just blog whenever the Spirit moves you, and not feel guilty about not blogging the rest of the time! Love you, Jerri.

  2. If you aren't writing again, for awhile, I will miss learning from you. I loved finding you again and the breakfast we had was so good. I would love to get together with you and the kids again, soon.