For a few very hard years this word was my mantra.
The word means
-undismayed; not discouraged; not forced to abandon purpose or effort
-undiminished in courage or valor; not giving way to fear
But the truth is, I was often dismayed by everything that had taken place, and I did battle discouragement. I battled fear and doubts. I hurt and was angry, and sometimes "undaunted" sounded more like a mockery than a mantra, and I was determined to be real about all of it in these posts, thus the name, Undaunted Reality. More than that, though, I was determined to live undaunted, not because I'm so great or strong, but because my God is, and no matter what this world looks like, He is the only reality that matters.
I pray I live the reality of Him beautifully undaunted.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Dark Places

When I am in a dark place, I tend to be quiet, to sort of hide in the shadows.

I do not wish for people to see my tears, to hear my sobs, or to share their advice. I do not want people to expect me to be anything. I do not want people to expect me to be "over it", to be strong for others, to be happy anyway, or to be miserable with pain.

I simply want to be.

Right now, I am in a dark place.

A dark place isn't a bad place. It is simply a place where I must depend on something...Someone...outside myself to give direction because none of my senses are reliable at this point. All I know and all I think mean nothing because in the dark, sounds are magnified, steps are not obvious, and I am guessing...about what lies ahead...about what lies behind...and how the two relate.

The dark is a place to be quiet, to be still, to rest.

And I am resting...from the voices...from the expectations...from needing to know everything...from needing to understand...from needing to have answers.

I am simply being.

And there is a peace in simply being...

...Even when it is in a dark place.

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