Today WonderBoy took one more step toward being WonderMan as he took his place as a licensed driver. I am so incredibly proud of him, and WonderGirl and I rejoiced with him and took him out for a celebratory lunch. It has been a wonderful day.
It's also been bittersweet.
Some days I wonder what their dad would say if he could see them now. The kids think about it. We talk about it. Both of them wonder if he would be proud of them, if he would enjoy their maturing quirkiness. Of course, I think the questions are pointless. How could he not totally love these amazing kids and be totally in awe of the young people they are and the adults they are becoming? But they wonder. I would wonder, too.
Of course, I am also aware that they are who they are because they survived the loss of their dad and have been raised by God and me the last 5 1/2 years. There is strength and optimism in them that would not have been there had they not been on this road, and there is an honesty about them that most adults avoid. It is a hard won honesty, and it is beautiful. But like them, I wonder what their dad would say to see these amazing young adults.
And days like today when everything is so amazing and joyous that echoing question seems to be loudest.
For a few very hard years this word was my mantra.
The word means
-undismayed; not discouraged; not forced to abandon purpose or effort
-undiminished in courage or valor; not giving way to fear
But the truth is, I was often dismayed by everything that had taken place, and I did battle discouragement. I battled fear and doubts. I hurt and was angry, and sometimes "undaunted" sounded more like a mockery than a mantra, and I was determined to be real about all of it in these posts, thus the name, Undaunted Reality. More than that, though, I was determined to live undaunted, not because I'm so great or strong, but because my God is, and no matter what this world looks like, He is the only reality that matters.
I pray I live the reality of Him beautifully undaunted.