My Words

Daddy,
I ask you today to make my words food for the soul.

To the soul who is beaten down, may they be a safe place filled with gentle kindnesses.
To the soul who is ready to quit, may they offer the courage to keep walking.
To the soul who feels pointless, may they offer a new perspective, a new hope for their lives and their purpose.
To the soul who is unsure, may they breathe faith and offer solid footing.
To the soul who is looking down the wrong road, may they offer a strong compass that points back to you.
To the soul who is holding onto past grief or bitterness, may they offer the road to freedom and out of the prison of darkness.
To the soul not sure what to do, may my words be a fountain of wisdom.
To the soul who can't see you in the darkness, may they be a light that shines, takes them by the hand, and leads them gently to you.
To the soul exploding with joy, may my words rejoice with them.
To the soul who needs to be important, may my words be words about them, hearing them, knowing them; may they not be about me, my stories, my ups or downs, or how anything they said applies to me but solely about how you desire to be right in the middle of them.
To my own soul, may my words be a compass that directs my heart and mind back to you. May they never agree with the enemy's lies or taunts or accusations against you or me, but may they be the truth that gives life, and as I fill my soul with words of life, may they pour forth and be a fountain of life for others.

Lord, bless my mouth today that it would be a place where YOU speak freely, and I only speak what I hear you say.

Thank you for your faithfulness.

I love you. Amen

Copyright 2015 Jerri Kelley Phillips

But What Does that MEAN?

In my last post I talked about my heart's desires and what I really want out of my life. In conversation, I asked a few people I know what their hearts desires are. They said things like:

To have a great marriage.
To be a better parent.
To be a Proverbs 31 woman.
To be more godly.

Then I asked, "So what does that mean?"

There was silence, and all of them repeated their words, slower this time.

Yeah, I get that, but what does it mean? They repeat themselves even more slowly. "To...have...a...great...marriage." And this time there is a question at the end.

Therein lies the problem.

Don't get me wrong. I think great marriages, better parenting, and godly living are all great goals, but the problem is they are way too abstract.

This is what I have found in people who are unhappy. They tell you they are unhappy, but they don't identify what they are unhappy about. It just isn't what they want. Okay. So what do you want? Well, they don't really know, but this isn't it.

If you don't know what you want, how will you ever develop a plan to reach it? And how will you know if you've found it?

One of the heart desires I listed is to have wisdom. Not perfect, but wise. In fact, I think part of wisdom is knowing to let go of the perfection expectation, but that is a different blog.

The question I have to ask myself is: what do I mean by gaining and speaking with wisdom?

My answers determine my path to solution.

My definition of speaking wisdom includes:

• Knowing when to keep my mouth shut.
• Pointing people always to God.
• Having the courage to speak the truth that may be hard to hear but speaking it with love, not judgment.
• Knowing how to address a problem to reach a desired solution.

There are problem more that will arise, but that is my starting point. Now, to figure out the map. How am I going to get there?

The Bible has a lot to say about wisdom, but in summary, it all starts one place: with God. (Check out Proverbs 2)

• So I'm reading five chapters a day from the Bible. Not telling you that to sound impressive. Just sharing part of my gaining wisdom plan.
• I am spending time I would normally spend watching a movie, playing solitaire, on Facebook, or in other ways praying honestly with God. Just talking about issues I have to address and seeking His word and will on them.
• I am reading books by great leaders. Maybe not the ones you think or approve of, but great leaders, nonetheless. I'm reading Oswald Chambers, but I'm also reading Patton.
• I'm reading books and having conversations by people and with people who know what I want to learn.
• I am giving time before I respond to questions, situations, and issues. I won't say I never respond out of emotion because again, I'm not perfect, but I'm a lot better at being honest and saying, "Right now, I am too emotional to think this through on a logical level. Give me some time to pray this through and find a clear mind so I can address it well." For the most part, people are okay with that and appreciate being respected and valued instead of lambasted, and really, isn't that the point? That I value their feelings and heart too much to go off in my offended flesh and do damage? It isn't just that I look good. It's that I treat others well.
• I'm also tending my calendar better. I make concerted effort not to get overbooked, over busy, and overworked. I'm making time to rest and think things through instead of always living in a mindset of urgency.

Again, there is probably more, but that is my jumpstart, don't get overwhelmed plan for obtaining wisdom and speaking wise counsel.

Plus, later in Proverbs it says, "Through wisdom a house is built, And by understanding it is established (24:3)," which totally speaks to my desire to have a great relationship with my kids and my desire for them to serve God. Gotta love multi-tasking the God way!

Now, I'm a realist. I'm not perfect and won't be. I won't be all wise by the end of the year. This never was a New Year's resolution anyway. This is a life plan. My life plan to gain wisdom I want to live by and lead with. It's the map I am using to reach a specific goal so when it comes time to die, I can look back and be happy with how I lived.

Know what I mean?


The Value of Wisdom

Proverbs 2

1 My son, if you receive my words,

And treasure my commands within you,

² So that you incline your ear to wisdom,

And apply your heart to understanding;

³ Yes, if you cry out for discernment,

And lift up your voice for understanding,

⁴ If you seek her as silver,

And search for her as for hidden treasures;

⁵ Then you will understand the fear of the Lord,

And find the knowledge of God.

⁶ For the Lord gives wisdom;

From His mouth come knowledge and understanding;

⁷ He stores up sound wisdom for the upright;

He is a shield to those who walk uprightly;

⁸ He guards the paths of justice,

And preserves the way of His saints.

⁹ Then you will understand righteousness and justice,

Equity and every good path.

¹⁰ When wisdom enters your heart,

And knowledge is pleasant to your soul,

¹¹ Discretion will preserve you;

Understanding will keep you,

¹² To deliver you from the way of evil,

From the man who speaks perverse things,

¹³ From those who leave the paths of uprightness

To walk in the ways of darkness;

¹⁴ Who rejoice in doing evil,

And delight in the perversity of the wicked;

¹⁵ Whose ways are crooked,

And who are devious in their paths;

¹⁶ To deliver you from the immoral woman,

From the seductress who flatters with her words,

¹⁷ Who forsakes the companion of her youth,

And forgets the covenant of her God.

¹⁸ For her house leads down to death,

And her paths to the dead;

¹⁹ None who go to her return,

Nor do they regain the paths of life—

²⁰ So you may walk in the way of goodness,

And keep to the paths of righteousness.

²¹ For the upright will dwell in the land,

And the blameless will remain in it;

²² But the wicked will be cut off from the earth,

And the unfaithful will be uprooted from it.

All New...All Different...All Good

I rolled over and looked at the clock. 7:30 am.

Four hours for the turkey to cook.

Sigh. I had time. In fact, I had time to cook the turkey, cook the cornbread and biscuits, crumble them up, and cook the dressing, fix potatoes, AND make the ham...provided I could borrow someone's oven for a bit.

Did I want to?

Words from Leslie's* text came to mind:

"Well, it's all new really, isn't it? New to being a fabulous single mom. New to being the matriarch of the family. New to having a sister."

It's all new really, isn't it?

All new...

Not all over...or all broken...or all...horribly sad...

...but all new...

All full of promise...all full of potential...

Yeah, I wanted to make turkey. I wanted to make the ham and potatoes and dressing and rolls. I wanted to make the day great for my family...because that is who I am...a fabulous single mom...the matriarch of the family who sets the tone...who dishes out dinner and dreams and trust that new isn't bad...just different...and it's good.

Yes, that is what I wanted...even if I had to borrow someone else's oven to have everything ready to feed my family...

It really is all new, isn't it? 

Yes, it's all new...all different...and it's all good.



The Dressing
The hardest part of this Thanksgiving for me was Mom's dressing.
She would walk in door, and the smell of sage and onions would
fill the house. She would sit the pan down and dole out big hugs.
I miss her...the dressing...and the hugs.
Time to step with presence, the food, and the love.
I can do this.



Wonder Boy drooling over the "traditional" Thanksgiving meal of
ham, turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, gravy, rolls, and cranberry sauce.

  



Rob joined the children and me for dinner.
We ate too much, watched Thanksgiving football, and played family games.
This morning Anna crawled in bed with me and said joyfully,
"Mom, this is going to be the best day ever."
How did she know?


*Leslie is one of my mom's "adopted" daughters. She worked with Mom at H&R Block. They were very close. I had heard about her for a long time. Mom thought the world of her. However, I had never met her. When Mom found out she had cancer, she said, "You need to get to know Leslie. You'll need her. You'll need each other." Mom knew. I'm thankful she did...and I'm so thankful for my new sister, Leslie.

When

Do you ever go to a family reunion or a potluck, and there is so much good stuff that you pick up a little bit of this and a little bit of that. Don't forget the mashed potatoes Aunt Betsy made that you have to eat so you don't offend her. Oh! There are those barbecue ribs Uncle Ralph says are the best ever. Have to have some of that. Then there is that chocolate pudding mousse thing that Sheryl only makes on special occasions. Can't pass that up. Who knows when you'll get a chance at that again?

By the time you finish adding all you want, all others say you should get, and all you get so no one is offended, your plate is overflowing, and the excitement you felt with your first glance has turned into a sense of dread as you look forward to the bloated stomach, tight belt, and indigestion later?

Crazy, isn't it?

The craziest part is the gratitude at the beginning of the meal has now because complaint. The food God gave to bless us is now seen as a curse. Why? Because we didn't know when to say when.

Today, my plate is full of blessings, but I feel the pull of temptation to load up a bit more. If I scoot this over and move this around, I can find room. It's all good. And, after all, what can a little bit more hurt, right?

Let's look at that "little bit more" that causes my head to turn and see what it can hurt.

My "little bit more" looks like a fiction book that I've had rolling around in my head for nearly two years. I worked on it a lot in 2008, but in 2009, it has gone by the way side. The fact is I haven't missed it much. I think of it periodically, but mostly, I'm busy with other things that I enjoy. In fact, I am completely happy without it until I see it on someone else's plate.

My friend Lisa Buffaloe shared the exciting news that her fiction book is headed to the publisher. I am truly thrilled. This is a book from God, and it is going to bless so many. My friend Amelia is moving forward with her book, and she has some interested eyes ogling it as well. I just finished reading Ruby's Slippers by Leanna Ellis, another friend. Understand. This is not about jealousy. These women are so gifted, and I rejoice that the Lord is blessing them and increasing them. It's just...I really like writing fiction, too.

Surely I could find time to work on a fiction book. Surely it couldn't be that hard to find the time, right?

Let's see. If I give up my Wednesday night fellowship time, that would buy me a few hours. If I gave up reading time with the children, I could get another 20-30 minutes a day. If I got up earlier, I could move my quiet time back. Probably won't remember it, but at least I'm doing it which means something will "stick in my spirit", so that's alright. Maybe instead of spending an hour and a half with my husband in the evenings I could only spend an hour. Wonder if I can figure out a way to spend less time on the co-op classes I teach, or maybe I could have the children do more workbook school and few projects and discussions for home school? Or, I could just give up cooking which would mean I didn't have to waste time doing dishes or going grocery shopping, and if I wear the same clothes three days in a row, that would cut down on the laundry, and if I...

...just lose my mind and don't care if I drive my family insane while cutting all my life lines to my support group...

It sounds absurd when I write it out, and most of us probably laughed at the craziness of it. However, every woman I know has had moments when she was tempted to add one more thing to an already full plate, and there is always the whisper, "What can it hurt?"

In Proverbs 31, we are told the woman of immeasurable value "considers a [new] field before she buys or accepts it [expanding prudently and not courting neglect of her present duties by assuming other duties]; with her savings [of time and strength] she plants fruitful vines in her vineyard (v 16, AMP)."

I love this. This woman of immeasurable considers the opportunity laid before her. Notice what she considers. She considers her present responsibilities. She thinks about what God expects of her in the season and place she is in. She does not think about whether someone will be mad or offended if she does not embrace this opportunity. She does not think about whether someone else thinks it is good or not. She does not fear that this may be her only chance at this field. Instead, she knows the Lord gives her what she needs in every season, including fields to tend for the purpose of yielding glorious fruit for Him and because of Him.

Because she doesn't embrace anything that isn't hers, she has time and energy to plant fruitful vines. These are not vines that will wither or languish because this valuable woman is spread too thin to tend them the way they need. No. This valuable woman knows her time and investments are valuable, so she only accepts what she knows she can tend well. Her vineyard will not be a straggly one, but one where the plants flourish, the fruit is evident, and the keeper is content. She will be known as one who is blessed.

Why?

Because she knew when to say when.

Copyright Jerri Phillips 2009

Noble

As I laid the day's plans before the Lord and spoke to Him about plans for visions He's given me, I asked Him for wisdom and balance. "Balance" is a word often used but not truly understood by most of us, so I wanted to find out His idea of balance. Once again, He took me to Proverbs 31.

This morning I am camping out on the first part of that section. It says:

A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.

I am completely unsure of what "noble character" actually means, so I went to the Webster's 1828 Dictionary. According to it "noble" means:

• 1. Great; elevated; dignified; being above every thing that can dishonor reputation; as a nobel mind; a noble courage; noble deeds of valor.
  2. Exalted; elevated; sublime.
  5. Distinguished from commoners by rank and title; as a noble personage.
  6. Free; generous; liberal; as a noble heart.
  8. Ingenuous; candid; of an excellent disposition; ready to receive truth. Acts 17.
  9. Of the best kind; choice; excellent; as a noble vine. Jeremiah 2.
  NO'BLE, n.
  1. A person of rank above a commoner; a nobleman; a peer; as a duke, marquis, earl, viscount or baron.
  2. In Scripture, a person of honorable family or distinguished by station. Exodus 24. Nehemiah 6.
  --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  nobleness
  NO'BLENESS, n.
  1. Greatness; dignity; ingenuousness; magnanimity; elevation of mind or of condition, particularly of the mind.
  2. Distinction by birth; honor derived from a noble ancestry."

So, a woman...
...who realizes she is not common but rather believes in her identity as being excellent and extraordinary,
...who is free from living down to expectations or the norm,
...who holds herself as dignified,
...who knows her honored place in the King's family...

A woman who embraces these truths about herself,
who is unafraid to proclaim these truths about herself,
unafraid to LIVE these truths,
unafraid to be set apart,
unafraid to be distingushed for her exellence,
unafraid to refuse to allow less of and for herself...

Who wouldn't want to be a woman like that?

LORD, open my eyes to see that such a woman already lives in me. I simply need to let her be seen for all she is according to your workmanship, perfect, and purposeful.

Copyright Jerri Phillips 2009

Learning the Greatest Adventure

A season of learning begins. New books. New packages of empty paper filled with possibility.

I find a quiet place and seek wisdom, guidance, a word for the year, something beyond my wisdom or my finite thoughts of importance. I seek His heart because He knows what lies ahead and what understanding, knowlegde, and soul tools we'll need for the trip. He takes my heart and leads me to Psalm 25, a Psalm of hope. Verses 14 and 15 magnify in my spirit.

14 The LORD confides in those who fear him;
he makes his covenant known to them.

15 My eyes are ever on the LORD,
for only he will release my feet from the snare.

I take the soul food to our morning gathering. The breakfast table is ready for feeding, bodies and souls.

Cereal feeds the body. Conversation feeds the bonds of family. Plans for the day. Changes in educational method according to changes in age and ability. A new year holding new things, but some things do not change.

The beginning is always with Him.

Cereal bowls are pushed aside, and the Bible is laid open.

I read the whole chapter of hope and then speak again the verses magnified in my heart. "These are the promises of the Lord for our year. The confiding our His heart, the revelation of His covenant, the revealing of Himself as we look to Him, and freedom from snares. This is what the Lord desires to do in us this year."

Children's hearts do not comprehend the extravagance of such a gift. I do...and I pray to comprehend more, to reach beyond my finite knowledge to the infinite grace that desires to reveal itself. Beyond my wildest dreams and greatest imagination...

The adventure of eternity...

I begin to ask questions, offer possibilities, dream for myself...for the children before me...for the descendants to come...

What greater thing is there to know than the heart of God? What greater freedom can be found than that of His covenant? Freedom to be oneself in His authentic plan. Freedom to fly like eagles. Freedom to rejoice in all He is and all we are in Him.

What snares hold us captive? How does He wish to set us free? How do we walk in the freedom He gives? In what idols do we place our hope for freedom? Lord, show us. Deliver us...from the idols...from ourselves.

We ponder. Our heads dip with the weight of snares. Our eyes sparkle with the thought of freedom. Smiles grow as possibilities become hopes...

The adventure of this learning has begun...

Copyright Jerri Phillips 2009