For a few very hard years this word was my mantra.
The word means
-undismayed; not discouraged; not forced to abandon purpose or effort
-undiminished in courage or valor; not giving way to fear
But the truth is, I was often dismayed by everything that had taken place, and I did battle discouragement. I battled fear and doubts. I hurt and was angry, and sometimes "undaunted" sounded more like a mockery than a mantra, and I was determined to be real about all of it in these posts, thus the name, Undaunted Reality. More than that, though, I was determined to live undaunted, not because I'm so great or strong, but because my God is, and no matter what this world looks like, He is the only reality that matters.
I pray I live the reality of Him beautifully undaunted.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

In the Darkness

2:00 am.  Middle of the night. I'm awake, laid out on the couch, finding words to put with the reality. I don't know why I am experiencing the darkness while others get to rest.  All I know is I am here for a reason.

The darkness won't last forever, and eventually I will rest. For now, I am believing in the purpose of being in the darkness.

In my life, my marriage is in question, and my mother is facing her final battle. Doubts of our marriage's viability assail my husband. Cancer ravages my mom. 

It is dark.

I do not know why this darkness has come to my family. All I know is I am here for reason. The darkness doesn't last forever, and at some point, I will rest. For now, I know God has a purpose...even when I do not understand...even when I cannot see...even in this darkness.

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