Divorced--Some Personal (Impassioned) Thoughts

I just finished reading and sharing the post about why God hates divorce. It hit a pretty solid nerve in me for a few reasons.

I grew up in a church that believed if you were divorced, you were not eligible to do anything in the church as far as leadership goes. You couldn't be a pastor EVER or lead a Bible study or even teach children's classes. The Catholic Church acts like divorce is the unpardeonable sin, too. You can be a killer and get absolution and take commuion. You can be a serial rapist, get absolution, and take communion. But if you are divorced, sacraments are off limit to you unless the church decides it never counted. According to my Bible, blasphemy is the unpardonable sin, so I really don't get where these unrighteous, ungodly mindsets and theologies come from except someone got a high and mighty attitude and stood in judgment of a sin they weren't human enough to commit.

I know. I know. I said in the past I was going to keep my posts encouraging and helpful, so where is that part?

Well, I am in the unusual position of understanding divorce and being a widow. My husband and I were in the process of divorce when he died. So I know the devastation of someone who said, "I do," deciding, "I don't and never really did," and I know the shock of burying some and stepping into a life you never expected to live. I often speak to the widow side, but right now, it's about the divorced side, and it isn't about my husband.

When my husband moved out and asked for a divorce, I blogged through it. The blogs are still out there if you want to read them, and they are ugly real like most Christians and holier-than-thous would ever want to read, and I almost quit writing beccause really, who wants to stand naked for all to see every bruise and battered place while you hurt beyond anything you ever imagined you could? But two pastors asked me to keep writing...keep being raw...keep being real...because seminary may teach how to talk to divorced people but not how tp love and minister to them, and they wanted to know. Plus, most folks going through a divorce are in shambles enough. We don't need the hateful judgment of the church that is supposed to love us. So we don't talk. We don't even attend. And we are judged for that, too.

And here is the truth the people in the pulpits don't like to say: any of you could be divorced just like us if you had been in the situations we were in. YOU and your right living are not the only reasons your marriage is intact. It's because someone else chose to work their butt's off to keep it intact as well. Not all of us are so blessed.

And for those who are divorced, hear me loud and clear: God loves you. You are not beyond healing or restoration or the very deepest desires of your heart. A person failed. God has not. Cling to Him. He still gives happy endings and you have as much reason to get one as anyone else. :-)

Stay on he journey and keep believing!