I Asked God to Show Me Where I was Blind, and He Gave Me a Pit/Lab so I Could See

Semper is definitely MY dog. I think she would be attached to me 24/7 if she could, and when she can't be attached, she wants to stand or lie within inches of me. Honestly, that isn't what I expected from...you know, a Pit.

The truth is she really isn't anything like I would have expected something that looks like a Pit to be. As I told you before, I have only had bad experiences with Pits, and they scare me. There is nothing scary about this dog, except the way she throws her head back and busts my lip or hits my nose, but Fred, my amazing Lab, did that, too, so maybe that is the Lab in her. I expected Pits to be aloof and brooding, kind of Batman in a dog. I expected a "no touchy" thing.

Right now, I am on the couch, and she is lying beside me stretched out...with her back feet planted firmly against my hip. I thought Semper's affection and connection issues were just because we bonded or she is a puppy, but today I spent a few hours with my friend Janice, and she met me at the door with these two very big dogs that welcomed me with wagging tails and exuberant joy. Despite their size, they provoked no sense of danger or fear. They were very much like Fred always was. Just totally happy to see a visitor. Being educated in dog get-to-know-you, I stood there and let them sniff me, get the aroma of me, and decide I was okay. When I actually got a look at Xena, I asked what breed they are. I already knew, but I wanted to be sure.

They are Pits. Big. Brawny. Muscled. Lovable. Can't be petted enough. Pits.

Not one time did I feel anxious around them. I never felt threatened. I did feel a bit squished when Zeus, who had been lying with his head on my leg, adjusted and dropped half his body weight in my lap and put his big head on my arm so I could rub his chest. When Zeus went to get food, Xena sat in front of me until I held out my arms, and she walked right into them and buried her face in my shoulder. I realized in my few hours there that Zeus and Xena would be in constant contact as well. In fact, they were either connected to me or Janice the whole time unless commanded to lie down in their own beds.

I was wrong.

These are not scary animals or vicious animals. These are beautiful animals with capacity to nurture and love deeply. They are huge babies...with a protective edge that isn't a bad thing. And like anything else, human or animal, it is impossible to make a blanket statement about them, especially one that is based in ignorance, fear, or media frenzy.

I admit, I have never thought of Pits as beautiful animals. Honestly, I have always thought they were ugly, but today I looked at Zeus a long time with his huge black head and penetrating brown eyes, and yes, he could be intimidating, if you are taught to fear that look, and I have been. Today though, I just looked at him. I looked at his whole body language that was so relaxed and comfortable. I looked at his face that was so relaxed, and I looked at how his eyes drooped when Janice rubbed a particular spot behind his ear. :-) What I saw today in the dog that sat beside his owner and wallowed in my lap is truly a beautiful dog. And Xena, with her brindle coat, stocky body, golden brown eyes, classic Pit head, and hug snuggles is just as beautiful.

What does all that have to do with Semper? I realize there will be people who see a dog with a Pit head and don't care that her mom was a Lab or that she is the sweetest thing ever. They will only see a Pit. I understand that. A month ago, I was one of those people, but God decided I needed to be educated. I needed to have my eyes opened because I was blind to part of His beauty.

Why is it that I have no problem seeing God as the warrior God but have trouble seeing Him in the "warrior" animals He created? Why do I fear something in His creation that I find so beautiful in Him?

For me, the answer is simple: I have seen that beautiful nurturing, protective side twisted into something vicious. But honestly, I have seen some people turn a loving, protective God into something vicious, too--a cruel God who enjoys watching people punished for their sins, a God who is never satisfied, a God who will turn on you in a heartbeat and destroy you and your hopes and dreams. It's easy to believe the scary stuff when you have never experienced the loving stuff.

If I could leave any legacy I wanted, I would leave lives changed by the truth of a warrior God who is driven by selfless love, whose heart for restoration is boundless, and whose commitment to love makes Him unable to compromise His stance on holiness. I would leave lives changed by the love found in the fierceness of Him.

When I prayed for a name for Semper, I actually thought of Fidelis, "Faithful", but it kind of became Semper Fidelis abbreviated from Dios semper fidelis--God is always faithful.

God is always faithful. Sometimes I can't see that, but it is true, and sometimes He has to open my eyes by putting me up close and personal with exactly what I fear so I can see Him in it.

Dios semper fidelis.

Shalom.

The Pit

Not the best pet day. I'll write more about the details later, but right now I am looking at Semper lying by me on the bed, and I am trying to get my bearings. She met Dr. Sterle, our vet, today, and as it turns out, Semper isn't really as much Lab as she is mix, and the "mix" is Pitbull, which is fine for some folks, but I specifically didn't want a Pit-anything.

I specifically looked for a dog that I could use as a therapy dog, that I could take to hospitals, funeral homes, eventually my office when I am on staff as a pastor. The foster mom has an amazing Lab/Pit mix (like, amazing and so gentle), but when she takes Zoe down the street, kids ask to pet her and the parents won't let them because they are afraid of her.

I understand.


I'm afraid of Pits, too.

And Zoe looks like a bear...but she is a bear I wanted to hug when she sat in front of me and just looked at me calmly and let me pet her...except I was also afraid she would bite me because...well, she is a Pit, and we all know what Pits are like, right? I mean, they are fierce and mean and...

I have one of the sweetest dogs ever lying beside me right now snoring a cute puppy snore.

And I am wondering if I missed God on this or if He is taking me down a path I had no plan to take.

So, I am going to pray.

Semper Fidelis' FB Page...Prayerfully, A Light in the Dark

As I explained in my previous post, I have spent a lot of time praying about my "special" thing or "gift" when it comes to ministry. Some folks are great with kids. Some are great in the area of marriage. What about me? While I can talk about kids (I have two amazing ones) and relationships, the thing that really moves my heart are the people who are battling trauma, grieve, loss, and darkness. If I could do anything in the world, I would give people hope. I would reach into their dark places, their scary places, their hurting places, and give them peace and hope. I have been praying a lot about how to minister to people who are hurting, and the Lord kept nudging me with the idea of a therapy dog. In my closed-minded stubbornness, I dismissed that voice until I found myself texting Morgan about a therapy dog. I have also spent years praying about my "voice" as a writer. Today, I think I realized it, at least part of it, and it sounds like a puppy...that is really cute...that can talk about hard topics without being judgmental or threatening or scary, and if i can use that puppy's "voice" to help people find their way through to the other side of the dark places, then I am going to, so, along with Semper Tails blog, Semper Fidelis also has her own Facebook page. Please feel free to share it with anyone who might be blessed by it. Not only will Semper be writing about her tales, she'll also share important phone numbers for hotlines, ways to take care of oneself, and so on. And if you think about it, pray for us. This is quite the adventure we have chosen to walk. It is exciting, but there is also housebreaking to be done...and I am looking for one of my shoes. Blessings and puppy love, Jerri and Semper Fidelis

Introducing...Semper Tails

 Some of you may remember, my favorite dog Fred. We called him our Lab-experiment. He was a rescue dog that was supposed to be a 20-pound beagle mix that became an 85-pound embodiment of love with 4 paws. We lost Fred to liver disease in December 2014. I pretty much decided we would never get another dog. I couldn't imagine loving another dog like I loved Fred. I certainly couldn't imagine bonding with another dog like I bonded with Fred.

Fred was more than a dog. He was a quiet consoling presence. He could read emotions like no one's business, and when I was at my end, he knew how to handle it, usually by slipping his hand into my hand.

When Fred was a year old or so, I started researching therapy dogs. Even then, I thought he would make a great one, but he had to big issues:
1. He loved jumping up on people.
2. He hated elevators

So Fred didn't become a therapy dog for anyone outside our home, but inside our home, he was amazing, especially when things changed so drastically in 2010 and 2011. I would sit on the couch just trying to breathe some days, and he would lie beside me, his head on my leg, breathing for us both. When I lay on my floor and cried, he sat outside my door and waited. I often thought everyone should have a Fred. The world would be a better place if everyone had someone like that. Someone who simply loved, who didn't care if you yelled, who wasn't afraid of tears, who walked into the hard to find you.

Periodically, I have considered Fred, therapy dogs, and the power of love with four paws, but I was not going to do that again. Until two weeks ago. When I finally listened closely and realized those thoughts were not my thoughts but God's voice.

I had been praying again for direction on "specializing" my ministry. "Pastor" can be so many things, and I was thinking about going back to school, possibly getting a second degree or maybe even a master's. Except, I kept finding myself perusing puppy pictures, and one day when I was kneeling at my altar, taking communion, I asked for a clear vision of what God wanted to do, and I saw myself with a dog beside me, and we walked into a hospital with injured soldiers and walked out and into a hospital with children, and we walked from that room into a room at the library where children were reading and from there into a funeral home where someone was grieving. Then we walked into someone's home where this dog lay on the couch and let the person pet it while the person talked about hard things, and I dismissed it all because I was not going to get another dog.

But then, I was sitting at the house I have been renovating to rent, and I texted my friend Morgan, who is a 3rd year veterinary student. I tossed her the idea of a therapy dog that I could take to different places, that could work with soldiers and marines, people grieving loss, folks trying to find courage to face hard things, people dealing with anxiety and panic issues...folks who have suffered trauma and need a safe place to heal. She asked if I wanted help finding a dog.

Within minutes, she was checking shelters near me, and we were comparing notes. About two weeks later, this happened.

Semper Fidelis.

Not because of the marines (although y'all know I love them), but because

Dios semper fidelis.

God is always faithful.

Sometimes we just need to be reminded. Sometimes we need the calm presence that reminds us of His peace and His presence. Sometimes Love shows up with four paws and reminds us of  the Love that shows up in the darkest places.


Because a good dog can do more for some folks than all the pills in all the pharmacies in all the world. Because sometimes the best way to get a handle of life is to feel the body of a gentle dog touch your hand.

So, this is Semper Fidelis, and we have just started our adventure together, and you can read more about our adventure at Semper Tails. It is more than just the daily adventure. It will include information about trauma, loss, grief, PTS (previously known as PTSD), healing, important contact information, and so on. As she says on her page, she is "therapy puppy growing into the great bigness off my heart and all the goodness packed inside me." The page will grow with her.

I hope you will join us...or even more, point someone toward Semper's page who needs someone like her because, as she says, maybe in her tales, that someone can find themselves.

Shalom and Puppy Love,
Jerri and Semper Fidelis