For a few very hard years this word was my mantra.
The word means
-undismayed; not discouraged; not forced to abandon purpose or effort
-undiminished in courage or valor; not giving way to fear
But the truth is, I was often dismayed by everything that had taken place, and I did battle discouragement. I battled fear and doubts. I hurt and was angry, and sometimes "undaunted" sounded more like a mockery than a mantra, and I was determined to be real about all of it in these posts, thus the name, Undaunted Reality. More than that, though, I was determined to live undaunted, not because I'm so great or strong, but because my God is, and no matter what this world looks like, He is the only reality that matters.
I pray I live the reality of Him beautifully undaunted.

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Preparing to Receive the Gift--Day 7: Rest

Be still.
And know.
I am God.
Psalm 46:10

I do not recall if I have stated it here, but the simple fact is I am exhausted on all levels--spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and thus, physically. The last four years have taken a large toll, and I have reached the bottom of my reserves.

For a variety of reasons, I have tried to battle on anyway.

I was afraid if I stopped writing, no one would be here to read it when I returned.

I was afraid if I admitted my utter exhaustion, I would get what I got last week and people would tell me to stop being weak and to man up and fulfill my destiny and who did I think I was to sit around when the world is going to hell in a handbasket?

I was afraid people would think I am weak because I didn't just dig deeper or find that other gear or hit that extra switch. Except there is nothing else to dig into. I have no other gear, and all my switches are running on high.

I was afraid of failing God by not taking responsibility for my gifts and using them to build the kingdom and bless others.

I was afraid if I didn't lay a certain foundation or take certain steps then I wouldn't have made the right preparations to receive my personal promises He has made.

"Have I not commanded you?
Be strong and courageous.
Do not be afraid.
Do not be discouraged,
For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."
--Joshua 1:9--

Last night I spent about two hours talking with a friend. We both know God always answers prayers, so where was the answer? We talked through the "stuff" until it became loud and clear.

"Take some personal time."

In case I missed it, I hopped on Facebook earlier today, and my friend Lisa had posted a picture with Psalm 46:10 on it. :-)

I won't bore you with the details of the whole conversation with my friend or with the Lord after the phone conversation. I might write about it someday, but for now, the pertinent information is...

For the next three months, I am taking "personal time". I will not be blogging, writing for a deadline or clear purpose, ministering in a formal way, or any other activities requiring energy beyond raising my kids and making a home. Whenever my Healer and Great Physician say I am allowed to return, I will, and I hope y'all are all here to catch up with then.

Until then, y'all take care. Be blessed. Know you are loved wildly, and always take time to...

Be still
And know.
He is God.

Blessings, y'all!

1 comment:

  1. Jerri, I know I am a sporadic reader and commenter, but I love reading your posts. I am glad you are taking some time out, because it sounds like you really, really need it. However, I hope that when you are ready, you come back and start writing again - I'll be looking forward to it!