My beloved friend who is hurting so much right now, I am so sorry. I am so sorry the world is so heavy on you right now. I'm sorry...about so much, and if I were there, I would hug you and let you cry until my shoulder was soaked, and you couldn't even stand up anymore. Then I would slump to the floor with you and let you put your head in my lap and cry some more, and I would cry with you because sometimes the only response that really says, "I get it," is to cry too, and I would sit withy ou until you either cried yourself to sleep or into a calm numbness because you won't cry forever, and numb can be a sweet reprieve. And if you wanted to talk, I'd listen, but if you just wanted to be there on the floor, not having to hold up the world or the marriage or the finances or the kids, I would sit with you because we all need a place where we are held up instead of holding things. I would hold you.
So wherever you are, wrap yourself in your favorite blanket, in your favorite sweatshirt, lie wherever you need to lie down, hide in the closet or in the tub or just on your bed, and cry the hard pain tears. No judgment. No having to hold it together. No having to be enough or something more than you can be right now, and know my heart and prayers are with you, and if I coudl be, I would be there in person as well. You are loved.
May you feel the presence of Almighty God holding you just like I described. This is the presence of God I know. I pray you know it, too.
Love and prayers, beloved one,