In my other post about my trip through government bureacracy the last week and especially today, I talked about the wounded souls I saw, and the question was posed, "What does God want you to do with it?" Well, put it in perspective for one.
I also took my truck in for some major repair work. It was supposed to go in yesterday, but it didn't because one of the owners of Christian Brothers passed into the hands of Jesus Monday, and yesterday was Annette's memorial. It was hard walking into CB's today knowing I would hear her laughter or see her smile or feel her hugs. Right now, I'm tearing up again. And it is hard knowing what her husband is facing and just how...empty a kitchen chair can be or the other side of the couch or the other seat in the car. And my heart would do anything to make that better.
While I was rolling through the emotions and frustrations of the day, I was also getting messages from folks neededing prayer, and I am always honored and privileged when people pour out their hearts for me to take before the Lord, and maybe today I am really tender because of Annette, but so many people are facing granite hard things, and I can do nothing pratical to fix it. Nothing.
All I can do is carry these hearts and lives and needs into the throne room and lay them before the Lord and ask for answers to the specific needs and ask for help for them, not just material help but emotional help so they can find peace and mental calm so they make decisions well.
You know, when you are left making decisions that it is shocking to make in the first place and add mental and emotional exhaustion to the mix, one of three things will happen.
1. They'll do something human to fix it, which is bad.
2. God will step in and meet them where they are, and they will know how to lean into Him.
3. They will crater. Maybe not suicide but in ways that destroy marriages, relationships, and hope.
I pray not just for the tangible answers but for the intangible soul stuff that needs to be able to reach out to God and hold onto God and receive answers from God. Prayer isn't just about the physical world. It is mostly about the internal world because that is where the war is won.