From My Journal--Love That Puts a Tree in a Garden

I find that I am fixated on Genesis 2 and the fact God did all those things--choosing specific plants and food for their beauty and flavor for mankind--out of love. He gave the very best He had because He loved them, and HE gave the option not to choose Him.

He put all that great stuff in the garden...and then He put a tree that gave them the ability to reject it all.

Was the very best love, the love that gives knowing someone has the option to leave?

Is the deepest love the one that loves greatly knowing the other may choose not to love at all?

Is that perfect love? If Eden was perfect, and that is the love He gave, it has to be.

Is seems like such an inane idea, but yet, it fills my mind.

When I got married, I thought it was forever. I knew divorce could happen. No. I don't think I got married with the idea divorce was a real possibility. I don't think the idea he could or would really leave ever really occurred to me.

Now?

I think I believe if I choose more wisely, pray for absolute clarity, refuse to marry anyone I am not absolutely sure is the man God has for me, then I am guaranteed a great marriage.

But here is the reality:
God gave the perfect environment for love.
He created these people and controlled every detail of their crafting.
He accepted that despite HIS perfection, they could not love Him at all.

If a perfect God has no guarantees, how can someone as imperfect as I am?

And if the greatest love is love that does not turn a blind eye or live in delusion but instead says, "Yes, I know you can choose not to love me, but I choose to love you anyway?", I wonder if I can love that greatly.

I know. Some folks would tell me I need to heal more so I don't think such fearful or negative thoughts, but the very heart of God embraced the truth that one can love perfectly and yet not be loved in return. It gets no more healed the heart of God Himself. God does not live in fear and negativity. He lives in reality of people's ability to be selfish and deceived into not wanting the one who loves them most.

I think of this in terms of potential relationships and marriage someday, but I can't grasp it. It's too abstract. How does one really love like that? What does it look like?

Like Jesus.

On the Cross.

For me.

Loving me knowing I might not love Him back.

My being kind to someone who thinks they are above me, knowing they will not appreciate my kindness, net even understand it, and mostly likely ridicule it.

Sending a card of condolence to someone who won't give me the time of day.

Letting the driver cut in at the last second who is too busy believing he owns the road to appreciate my sharing it.

Loving my enemy who thinks I'm an idiot for doing it.

It's that kind of love.

The loves that knows the end might not be happily ever after. It's love that is willing to give it's absolute all knowing it might get absolutely nothing, but still, it loves. It's that kind of love.

That is the Eden kind of love.

And it is perfect.