It is the sound a day makes when it gets out of control, and you end up wondering how you are going to get everything done that (you think) needs to get done, and you are trying not to panic, but great purple billed sap suckers, Batman! That is a long list! AND, those things you have to get done are not anywhere near each other, and while you are reading this, someone just texted you and added more.
Yeah. I knew you knew that sound.
Today I got hit with another Vroom! day. I already had a full list. Then WonderGirl found out she had to stay at school for the debate, and since I was making the supper she asked for tonight, I figured I would just run it into town to her and go to the bank. No biggie. Until WonderBoy's bands came off, which means an unexpected 1 1/2 hour trip to the orthodontist office and back.
And it happened.
That headache that starts just below your shoulder because your shoulder blade and your spine and inches its way into a full blown trapezius knot of mythical proportions and then rockets right up your neck and into your skull. Hello tension migraine.
Except it didn't happen.
Instead, I noted the knot in my shoulder, prayed for God to do some miracle thing with my schedule today, and then....sat on the couch with some chocolate milk and read my Bible.
I didn't read anything long or heavy. Three Psalms. That's it, and I didn't even know what to read, so I did the powerhouse mature Christian thing. I prayed to the Lord to show the weapons I needed to fight today's battle, took my sword (the Word of God) in hand, and turned it to the ammo He led me to. Psalm 12, 13, and 32. Then I wrote the verses that stuck in my mind in my journal and marked the page with a piece of a stinky note. These are my meditation scripture now
The words of the Lord are flawless,
like silver purified in a crucible,
like gold refined seven times.
But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing the Lord's praise,
for He has been good to me.
Then I acknowledged my sin to you
and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the Lord."
And you forgave the guilt of my sin.
It's obvious why I picked the first two. Flawless words. Unfailing love. I mean, really, but honestly, the last one is the one I really love. Why? If I were to say it, I would say something like this:
Then I admitted my utter imperfection to you and my propensity for choosing the wrong thing. I came clean with the ugliest parts of me. I said, "I will be real about how I am and how bad things are and how desperately I need you." And you, in your wondrous perfection, accepted me there, forgave me, and took away all the reasons for me to hate myself.
Isn't it just like God on days when we are looking for something about time or schedule or our steps being directed, to step in and say, "Let's talk about something else, like your feeling inadequate, like your perfectionistic mindset that says you have to get it all right, and your lying awake tonight thinking about how you could have done it better and being annoyed that you didn't."
Do you get what He is saying?
That stuff on your to do list will get done or not. The world honestly won't end, and next week none of that matters, but YOU matter. OUR RELATIONSHIP matters. THE WAY YOU THINK I SEE YOU matters. THE WAY YOU SEE YOURSELF matters. MAKING SURE WE ARE OKAY matters.
May you always remember the importance of rest stops on Vroom! days...and in everything you have to get done, may you always remember what really matters.